Teenager|Articles, Videos and Answers about the Teenager
Jan
30
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
BettYbOOpBaBY asked:
i know that it is good to send trouble teens to bootcamp. but i need to know where to send them. i have tried to look up bootcamp info but i need some bootcamps where they are free because they are trying to help the teenager change their life for the better. i am need a really harcore bootcamp.
this little girl is steeling, fighting in gangs, hitting her mother, doing drugs, and only god knows what else. so please help me.
teenager stories
i know that it is good to send trouble teens to bootcamp. but i need to know where to send them. i have tried to look up bootcamp info but i need some bootcamps where they are free because they are trying to help the teenager change their life for the better. i am need a really harcore bootcamp.
this little girl is steeling, fighting in gangs, hitting her mother, doing drugs, and only god knows what else. so please help me.
teenager stories
Sep
03
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
Mary ♀♀ asked:
Is there a difference between how you treated your parents as a child/teenager and how you treat them now?
How did your relationship with your own parents affect you as a parent?
teenage couple
Is there a difference between how you treated your parents as a child/teenager and how you treat them now?
How did your relationship with your own parents affect you as a parent?
teenage couple
May
27
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
charontheloose asked:
If a mentally ill teenager cuts his mothers hair off to the scalp can he be arrested for assault?
If a mentally ill teenager cuts his mothers hair off to the scalp can he be arrested for assault?
If he is known to be mentally ill…. should he be sent to jail or to the hospital for a week or two for a medication check?
I am not adding more details because the police had no more information then he was mentaly ill. ( I am just getting views)
Thanks for the answers.
FRANCISCO
Oct
08
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
David Beart asked:
Well, you can’t really spank them anymore, can you? It’s a little distressing… disciplining a teenager while you are looking up at them. In fact, most teenage boys can simply pick their mothers up and move them out of their way if they so choose. So how does a parent go about instilling strong life lessons in their teenage children and help them grow into wonderful, fulfilled, and responsible adults?
Discipline and punishment, in my book, are two different things. Punishment is about power, exerting power over your child when they have messed up. Punishment implies anger. Discipline is about educating a child, young or old, about their behavior and the impending consequences. We discipline because we want them to grow up and be productive and happy people in the world. Unfortunately, teenagers tend to tune out a lot of the normal parental efforts to discipline and parents often feel that punishment works better because it gets their attention.
Getting your kids to listen to you is not as easy as it used to be. When five minutes in the time out chair was a playtime killer and going to bed ten minutes early was a serious punishment, your kids were much more likely to heed your words and listen intently so they could learn to get themselves out of their predicament. Now they are big and the time out chair is laughable and they often even seem to enjoy the challenge of getting themselves out of their predicaments with their own wits.
In many ways, we can equate disciplining a teenager with manipulating a teenager. They want to be free to do their own thing and to create their life as they see fit. We want them to pitch in around the house, make nice with their sister, and keep their grades up. Because each of these wants is tied in with the other’s actions, we tend to manipulate our kids more than discipline them. This isn’t some horrid parenting sin. Sometimes, it’s the only way to get their attention in order to move into the education portion of discipline.
Kids with cars, eventful social schedules, or serious hobbies are the ones that are most likely to listen up when those things are threatened in the form of discipline. When ood grades mean that they can participate in the sport they are passionate about and gas money is contingent upon keeping up with the daily chores, kids tend to be more cooperative. This is because there is more to manipulate them with. When they are failing to provide the appropriate behavior that we would like to see, we have something to take away from them in order to change their behavior. Like I said, this is often how we help them open up their ears so that the educational portion of discipline can follow.
To gain any useful benefit from the manipulation stage, we have to put forth effort during the secondary discipline stage. Once we have their attention, it is important to talk with them about why they are in their current predicament and how to prevent it in the future. If you shut down their car use for a week due to slipping grades, use that week to discuss how your teen can learn to balance his activities more responsibly so that he doesn’t wind up in the same situation. Discussing why slipping grades are more important than using a car can help him grasp that you are looking beyond his action packed weekend and into his college bound future. Ultimately, you want him to recognize that you didn’t dole out the punishment and discipline just to take their car away. You want him to recognize that you are concerned that he may have lost sight of the fact that his college education is more important than his moment to moment fun.
Discipline is a tricky art form. You have to maintain a position of power in the life of a teenager if you want them to realize that your word counts for anything. We have all witnessed a young child whom has figured out at an early age that his parent doesn’t mean what they say and there really won’t be any serious consequence for their behavior. Perhaps you have witnessed this in a grocery store or other public venue. The child not only refuses to stop the behavior that the parent has corrected, but they will actually escalate the behavior the more the parent tries to correct them. Usually the parent continuously comes up with various threats. The child continues to misbehave because they already know that these are empty threats and that nothing is really going to happen. When that child grows into a teenager (without any type of adjustment to the lack of consequences) that teen will walk all over the parent because there will be no reason to adhere to the rules then, either.
Of course, we don’t want our children to be terrified of us, either. We aren’t looking to brutally beat them with some handy apparatus just because they came home five minutes late. Parents need to have rules, but becoming a drill sergeant in your own home is most likely a bit excessive. Provided that you mean what you say and follow through with action and still be willing (at the appropriate time and place) to listen and talk with your child about their behavior and the consequences, you can foster a nice balance of discipline and growth without being unreasonable.
That sweet balance between tyrant and pushover can take a little trial and error practice. When you are dealing with teenage behavior, intelligent discussion, fair and natural consequences, and the strong ability to stick to your guns is what is most beneficial all the way around. Teenagers can make you want to tear your hair out one minute and melt your heart the next. They can be master manipulators while in the next breath become the brainless wonder-child of the century. Disciplining a teenager requires firm and decisive action on your part and an ear for meaningful and productive conversations that lead to better behavior down the line.
BRANDEN
Well, you can’t really spank them anymore, can you? It’s a little distressing… disciplining a teenager while you are looking up at them. In fact, most teenage boys can simply pick their mothers up and move them out of their way if they so choose. So how does a parent go about instilling strong life lessons in their teenage children and help them grow into wonderful, fulfilled, and responsible adults?
Discipline and punishment, in my book, are two different things. Punishment is about power, exerting power over your child when they have messed up. Punishment implies anger. Discipline is about educating a child, young or old, about their behavior and the impending consequences. We discipline because we want them to grow up and be productive and happy people in the world. Unfortunately, teenagers tend to tune out a lot of the normal parental efforts to discipline and parents often feel that punishment works better because it gets their attention.
Getting your kids to listen to you is not as easy as it used to be. When five minutes in the time out chair was a playtime killer and going to bed ten minutes early was a serious punishment, your kids were much more likely to heed your words and listen intently so they could learn to get themselves out of their predicament. Now they are big and the time out chair is laughable and they often even seem to enjoy the challenge of getting themselves out of their predicaments with their own wits.
In many ways, we can equate disciplining a teenager with manipulating a teenager. They want to be free to do their own thing and to create their life as they see fit. We want them to pitch in around the house, make nice with their sister, and keep their grades up. Because each of these wants is tied in with the other’s actions, we tend to manipulate our kids more than discipline them. This isn’t some horrid parenting sin. Sometimes, it’s the only way to get their attention in order to move into the education portion of discipline.
Kids with cars, eventful social schedules, or serious hobbies are the ones that are most likely to listen up when those things are threatened in the form of discipline. When ood grades mean that they can participate in the sport they are passionate about and gas money is contingent upon keeping up with the daily chores, kids tend to be more cooperative. This is because there is more to manipulate them with. When they are failing to provide the appropriate behavior that we would like to see, we have something to take away from them in order to change their behavior. Like I said, this is often how we help them open up their ears so that the educational portion of discipline can follow.
To gain any useful benefit from the manipulation stage, we have to put forth effort during the secondary discipline stage. Once we have their attention, it is important to talk with them about why they are in their current predicament and how to prevent it in the future. If you shut down their car use for a week due to slipping grades, use that week to discuss how your teen can learn to balance his activities more responsibly so that he doesn’t wind up in the same situation. Discussing why slipping grades are more important than using a car can help him grasp that you are looking beyond his action packed weekend and into his college bound future. Ultimately, you want him to recognize that you didn’t dole out the punishment and discipline just to take their car away. You want him to recognize that you are concerned that he may have lost sight of the fact that his college education is more important than his moment to moment fun.
Discipline is a tricky art form. You have to maintain a position of power in the life of a teenager if you want them to realize that your word counts for anything. We have all witnessed a young child whom has figured out at an early age that his parent doesn’t mean what they say and there really won’t be any serious consequence for their behavior. Perhaps you have witnessed this in a grocery store or other public venue. The child not only refuses to stop the behavior that the parent has corrected, but they will actually escalate the behavior the more the parent tries to correct them. Usually the parent continuously comes up with various threats. The child continues to misbehave because they already know that these are empty threats and that nothing is really going to happen. When that child grows into a teenager (without any type of adjustment to the lack of consequences) that teen will walk all over the parent because there will be no reason to adhere to the rules then, either.
Of course, we don’t want our children to be terrified of us, either. We aren’t looking to brutally beat them with some handy apparatus just because they came home five minutes late. Parents need to have rules, but becoming a drill sergeant in your own home is most likely a bit excessive. Provided that you mean what you say and follow through with action and still be willing (at the appropriate time and place) to listen and talk with your child about their behavior and the consequences, you can foster a nice balance of discipline and growth without being unreasonable.
That sweet balance between tyrant and pushover can take a little trial and error practice. When you are dealing with teenage behavior, intelligent discussion, fair and natural consequences, and the strong ability to stick to your guns is what is most beneficial all the way around. Teenagers can make you want to tear your hair out one minute and melt your heart the next. They can be master manipulators while in the next breath become the brainless wonder-child of the century. Disciplining a teenager requires firm and decisive action on your part and an ear for meaningful and productive conversations that lead to better behavior down the line.
BRANDEN
Jun
02
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
Tracy Tresidder asked:
Some of the long-term effects of drinking at a young age include learning difficulties, memory loss, and addiction problems later on in life. These are only some of the associated problems that are currently, scientifically proven. It is time that parents and those in our community took a stand against alcohol use, and experimentation with our teenage children now, rather than later on down the track when the damage has already been done.
Heavy drug abuse is said to be the main concern of many parents, when it comes to addictive substances. Although research suggests that the largest percentage of drug related occurrences are the direct result of alcohol use, not hard drugs. Parents need to be aware that alcohol use among young teens is harmful, unacceptable, and is a dangerous substance among teenagers that needs our attention, rather than our tolerance.
Facts About Alcohol, And Your Teenager
• In Australia, it is estimated that at least 73% of teenagers try alcohol more than once.
• In 2001, over 3,000 teenagers died due to alcohol use, and a further 64,782 needed medical attention after an alcohol related episode.
• Teenagers who are exposed to alcohol at an early age are five times more likely to become addicted later in life.
• Teenagers who binge-drink are likely to have poor judgment, and engage in dangerous activities such as increased risk taking, unwanted sex, blackouts, vomiting, and being a victim to violent activities.
Teenage Drinking, What You Can Do As A Parent
The relationships that we have with our teenage children have a bearing on their future development as they grow into well-adjusted adults who take their place in the community. In order to give your teenager the best start in life, they need to be given love, security, a warm and friendly family environment, as well as a firm set of values, and standards to live their lives by.
From an early age, children need boundaries. This helps them define, in later life, what acceptable behaviour is, and what isn’t tolerable. As children reach their teenage years, they need to be taught responsibility within their defined boundaries as a teenager. It is a parent’s duty, not prerogative to take an active role in your teenager’s life.
As a parent, if you don’t agree with teenage drinking, voice your opinion with other parents, and take a stand for what you feel is the right thing. You just may find that there are many other parents out there who agree with you. By creating a network of parents within your community that includes the parents of your teenager’s friends where possible, you can work together towards creating a strong, safe structure for your teenager to socialise in.
EZEKIEL
Some of the long-term effects of drinking at a young age include learning difficulties, memory loss, and addiction problems later on in life. These are only some of the associated problems that are currently, scientifically proven. It is time that parents and those in our community took a stand against alcohol use, and experimentation with our teenage children now, rather than later on down the track when the damage has already been done.
Heavy drug abuse is said to be the main concern of many parents, when it comes to addictive substances. Although research suggests that the largest percentage of drug related occurrences are the direct result of alcohol use, not hard drugs. Parents need to be aware that alcohol use among young teens is harmful, unacceptable, and is a dangerous substance among teenagers that needs our attention, rather than our tolerance.
Facts About Alcohol, And Your Teenager
• In Australia, it is estimated that at least 73% of teenagers try alcohol more than once.
• In 2001, over 3,000 teenagers died due to alcohol use, and a further 64,782 needed medical attention after an alcohol related episode.
• Teenagers who are exposed to alcohol at an early age are five times more likely to become addicted later in life.
• Teenagers who binge-drink are likely to have poor judgment, and engage in dangerous activities such as increased risk taking, unwanted sex, blackouts, vomiting, and being a victim to violent activities.
Teenage Drinking, What You Can Do As A Parent
The relationships that we have with our teenage children have a bearing on their future development as they grow into well-adjusted adults who take their place in the community. In order to give your teenager the best start in life, they need to be given love, security, a warm and friendly family environment, as well as a firm set of values, and standards to live their lives by.
From an early age, children need boundaries. This helps them define, in later life, what acceptable behaviour is, and what isn’t tolerable. As children reach their teenage years, they need to be taught responsibility within their defined boundaries as a teenager. It is a parent’s duty, not prerogative to take an active role in your teenager’s life.
As a parent, if you don’t agree with teenage drinking, voice your opinion with other parents, and take a stand for what you feel is the right thing. You just may find that there are many other parents out there who agree with you. By creating a network of parents within your community that includes the parents of your teenager’s friends where possible, you can work together towards creating a strong, safe structure for your teenager to socialise in.
EZEKIEL
Apr
27
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
Terre Grable asked:
Many parents find it difficult to know what gifts to buy for their teenagers for the holidays. Perhaps last year you thought you had the “perfect gift” for them, only to have it returned the next day and your feelings hurt. If you are struggling to figure out what to get your teenager this holiday season, here are some ideas that can help:
1. Clothes or gift card to a favorite clothing store
I do not know of any teenager that does not enjoy clothes. Whether they are choosing to dress with the current style, or have a style all their own. Clothes can be a big hit. Do not be afraid to give them a gift card either. While it may be considered tacky to some parents, many teenagers would prefer the gift card for ease and not wanting to hurt their parents feelings if they want to return it.
2. Video Games or accessories
Many of today’s teenagers are into the gaming sensation. Whether it is the Nintendo Wii or other hi fi games, they are a hit. Your local electronics store can help you find some great accessories for the gaming hobbyist.
3. MP3 player or accessories
Teenagers love music and they love the mp3 players. Today’s mp3 players have replaced yesterday’s CD players and cassette walkmans. And honestly, they do produce a much better sound. You can also buy mp3 gift cards so they can download whatever songs they prefer.
4. Concert tickets or tickets to a play
Do you know what your son’s favorite musician is? Or is there a play your daughter has wanted to see? Why not get tickets and take them to the concert of play? It may sound flaky at first to your teenager, but it will send the message to your son/daughter that you are interested in their hobbies, and want to learn more.
5. Movie tickets
Teenagers love to go to the movies with their friends. Movie tickets make a great gift. Many wholesale clubs are equipped so you can purchase them in bulk for a cheaper price.
6. Journal or Diary
Many teenagers enjoy writing down their thoughts and are very talented writers. Others just like to write down their personal thoughts and reflections. There is something powerful about the written word
7. A night on the town with you
When was the last time you spent some time alone with your teenager? It can be as simple as a weekend breakfast after practice or as elaborate as a weekend trip.
8. Collegiate items
Collegiate gear is a great gift for a teenager that has a favorite sports team, or has been accepted to a specific college.
9. Investments
Teenagers need to know how to handle money wisely. Educating your teenager on how to stay out of debt, and make sound financial decisions can have life long benefits.
10. A class for a new skill
Does your teenager want to learn martial arts, or how to be graphic designer, or enjoy cooking? Why not give them a class on something they would enjoy?
11. Audio Books or inspirational books written for teenagers
Some teenagers loves to read a book, while others are more auditory learners. Regardless of the form, reading can be relaxing and educational.
12. A gift where they give of themselves.
There are many community non profit organizations that need a lot of extra help this time of year. Consider volunteering at a homeless shelter or a retirement community.
GREGORIO
Many parents find it difficult to know what gifts to buy for their teenagers for the holidays. Perhaps last year you thought you had the “perfect gift” for them, only to have it returned the next day and your feelings hurt. If you are struggling to figure out what to get your teenager this holiday season, here are some ideas that can help:
1. Clothes or gift card to a favorite clothing store
I do not know of any teenager that does not enjoy clothes. Whether they are choosing to dress with the current style, or have a style all their own. Clothes can be a big hit. Do not be afraid to give them a gift card either. While it may be considered tacky to some parents, many teenagers would prefer the gift card for ease and not wanting to hurt their parents feelings if they want to return it.
2. Video Games or accessories
Many of today’s teenagers are into the gaming sensation. Whether it is the Nintendo Wii or other hi fi games, they are a hit. Your local electronics store can help you find some great accessories for the gaming hobbyist.
3. MP3 player or accessories
Teenagers love music and they love the mp3 players. Today’s mp3 players have replaced yesterday’s CD players and cassette walkmans. And honestly, they do produce a much better sound. You can also buy mp3 gift cards so they can download whatever songs they prefer.
4. Concert tickets or tickets to a play
Do you know what your son’s favorite musician is? Or is there a play your daughter has wanted to see? Why not get tickets and take them to the concert of play? It may sound flaky at first to your teenager, but it will send the message to your son/daughter that you are interested in their hobbies, and want to learn more.
5. Movie tickets
Teenagers love to go to the movies with their friends. Movie tickets make a great gift. Many wholesale clubs are equipped so you can purchase them in bulk for a cheaper price.
6. Journal or Diary
Many teenagers enjoy writing down their thoughts and are very talented writers. Others just like to write down their personal thoughts and reflections. There is something powerful about the written word
7. A night on the town with you
When was the last time you spent some time alone with your teenager? It can be as simple as a weekend breakfast after practice or as elaborate as a weekend trip.
8. Collegiate items
Collegiate gear is a great gift for a teenager that has a favorite sports team, or has been accepted to a specific college.
9. Investments
Teenagers need to know how to handle money wisely. Educating your teenager on how to stay out of debt, and make sound financial decisions can have life long benefits.
10. A class for a new skill
Does your teenager want to learn martial arts, or how to be graphic designer, or enjoy cooking? Why not give them a class on something they would enjoy?
11. Audio Books or inspirational books written for teenagers
Some teenagers loves to read a book, while others are more auditory learners. Regardless of the form, reading can be relaxing and educational.
12. A gift where they give of themselves.
There are many community non profit organizations that need a lot of extra help this time of year. Consider volunteering at a homeless shelter or a retirement community.
GREGORIO
Feb
17
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
David Dutch asked:
What concerns me, as a high school governor, is that many parents see their role as parent change completely when their child leaves primary school and moves to the high school. Yes it is true that most children do not want Mum or Dad to escort them to the school gates as they did when at primary school, they lose their street ‘cred’ if it happens, but it would also appear that many parents appear to leave the development of the child through those difficult teenage years to the teachers of the school.
In a recent survey of children conducted by the DfES, it was amazing to see that 37% admitted to being disobedient at home compared to school. This does need further examination.
Your teenage child comes home from school dumps them selves on the sofa and declares, ‘Nobody likes me’. What do you do?
Now the fact that most teenagers are subject to mood swings there could well be a deeper reason behind the words. Before verbally attacking the school, can I suggest that you look at what you may have done in the past to bring this about? Most teenagers want to feel accepted and need to establish a personal identity.
It is your responsibility as a parent to help develop your child’s self-confidence and self esteem. It is fortunately not too late to re-define your role. It is vitally important to balance sincere praise with sensitive criticism.
No one will pretend that it is easy to criticise a teenager even using the most sensitive of phrases, but it all depends on the role you have played as a parent during the formative years of your child. Again, it is no reason to opt out of responsibility blaming school staff and youth leaders for the misdemeanours of youth.
A very successful technique is called ‘catch them doing something right
It is so easy to spot when things are going wrong, but for every negative response you give, try giving three positive responses.
A child, teenager, young adult who views themselves as worthwhile will be less inclined to fall foul of bad influences and break the rules of society. Before you start stoning me as heretic and quoting individual cases where a well-adjusted child fell foul of the rules of society, hear me out.
Do you like to be congratulated for doing a good job? Whether that job is in your work place or baking an apple pie the family devour with relish? We all appreciate being told we have done well.
Children are no different, the only difference is that when you tell a child they have done well, as long as it is sincere and not ‘luvvy duvvy!’ you are building their confidence and self- esteem. You must play that major role as a parent of pre-teenage and teenage children.
Building your child’s confidence grows out of a healthy, interactive, and mutually respectful relationship. Although they are loosening the apron strings and appear to be flying the coop, they still need that vital contact and strong relationship where they can return to, to rebuild their self-esteem when the hard world knocks them back.
It is possible to be a pal to your sibling while still maintaining the role of parent. Have fun, laugh at your own inability to understand the latest fashion or music. Make sure that you have quality family time, go out for lunch or dinner as a family and most important use the time to let them talk instead of being lectured to. Ask for their views on the world, news items even teenage behaviour you will be surprised how over a little time they will open up and talk, yes teenagers can talk. They need to appreciate that you hold their opinions dear; they need to know that they can please you. If they feel, their opinions count for nothing and they cannot please you they will stop trying and the fabric of the family breaks down.
So sorry, but if you have unruly teenagers don’t look at the school, their peer group, the social environment, look inwards on yourself, have you caused it and what can you do to remedy the situation.
EMMITT
What concerns me, as a high school governor, is that many parents see their role as parent change completely when their child leaves primary school and moves to the high school. Yes it is true that most children do not want Mum or Dad to escort them to the school gates as they did when at primary school, they lose their street ‘cred’ if it happens, but it would also appear that many parents appear to leave the development of the child through those difficult teenage years to the teachers of the school.
In a recent survey of children conducted by the DfES, it was amazing to see that 37% admitted to being disobedient at home compared to school. This does need further examination.
Your teenage child comes home from school dumps them selves on the sofa and declares, ‘Nobody likes me’. What do you do?
Now the fact that most teenagers are subject to mood swings there could well be a deeper reason behind the words. Before verbally attacking the school, can I suggest that you look at what you may have done in the past to bring this about? Most teenagers want to feel accepted and need to establish a personal identity.
It is your responsibility as a parent to help develop your child’s self-confidence and self esteem. It is fortunately not too late to re-define your role. It is vitally important to balance sincere praise with sensitive criticism.
No one will pretend that it is easy to criticise a teenager even using the most sensitive of phrases, but it all depends on the role you have played as a parent during the formative years of your child. Again, it is no reason to opt out of responsibility blaming school staff and youth leaders for the misdemeanours of youth.
A very successful technique is called ‘catch them doing something right
It is so easy to spot when things are going wrong, but for every negative response you give, try giving three positive responses.
A child, teenager, young adult who views themselves as worthwhile will be less inclined to fall foul of bad influences and break the rules of society. Before you start stoning me as heretic and quoting individual cases where a well-adjusted child fell foul of the rules of society, hear me out.
Do you like to be congratulated for doing a good job? Whether that job is in your work place or baking an apple pie the family devour with relish? We all appreciate being told we have done well.
Children are no different, the only difference is that when you tell a child they have done well, as long as it is sincere and not ‘luvvy duvvy!’ you are building their confidence and self- esteem. You must play that major role as a parent of pre-teenage and teenage children.
Building your child’s confidence grows out of a healthy, interactive, and mutually respectful relationship. Although they are loosening the apron strings and appear to be flying the coop, they still need that vital contact and strong relationship where they can return to, to rebuild their self-esteem when the hard world knocks them back.
It is possible to be a pal to your sibling while still maintaining the role of parent. Have fun, laugh at your own inability to understand the latest fashion or music. Make sure that you have quality family time, go out for lunch or dinner as a family and most important use the time to let them talk instead of being lectured to. Ask for their views on the world, news items even teenage behaviour you will be surprised how over a little time they will open up and talk, yes teenagers can talk. They need to appreciate that you hold their opinions dear; they need to know that they can please you. If they feel, their opinions count for nothing and they cannot please you they will stop trying and the fabric of the family breaks down.
So sorry, but if you have unruly teenagers don’t look at the school, their peer group, the social environment, look inwards on yourself, have you caused it and what can you do to remedy the situation.
EMMITT
Feb
16
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
John Campbell asked:
About Teenagers and Peer Pressure
Your children are influenced by the entire world around them and just like peer pressure that influence can be good or bad.
Understandably, most parents will go to any lengths to make sure that their children do not get into any trouble. They have never-ending arguments with their children about what’s right and what’s wrong; what they should do and what they shouldn’t
Knowing that they cannot follow their kids everywhere and knowing about teenager’s vulnerability to unwholesome peer pressure, parent will worry about teenagers making the right choices and selecting the ‘right people’ to imitate.
This article is about teenagers that succumb to what parents might see as a negative influence and some practical tips for parents to stop the teenager coming to harm.
Dealing with teenagers
Kids are going to be influenced by many people for many different reasons some positive and some negative. If you think your teenager is under a negative influence and you wish to get them back on track, here are a few things you can do.
Teaching your teenager about skills that will help them get out of bad situations is time well spent. Role play and acting out various options available may be useful pre-teen or early teen. But I am sure you will not get a 16 year old to role play with you!
Discuss with them that what they choose to do is entirely their responsibility. If they have chosen not to join in a particular activity they must never let themselves be swayed by the rest of the group. Teach them the well known saying ‘Just walk away’.
An important factor about teenagers and discipline is when you have cause to berate them make sure you tell them clearly why you where upset with their behaviour and what they could try to do to improve it.
Avoid personal statements such as I hate you, you look scruffy. They must know it is their behaviour you dislike not them.
If they find themselves in a situation that they cannot get out of, insist that they find a way to call you so you can bail them out of a tuff tough spot. Just the thought of having a friend call a parent can cause the other person to stop right there in their tracks.
Being able to tell their peers they will get grounded, loose pocket money or allowance can give your child a credible ‘out’ to excuse themselves from something they know you would not approve of.
The Duty of a Caring Parent
Your child needs to be aware that you have no authority or control over what their friends do or don’t do, but you certainly are in charge of your child and intend exercising your authority to keep things in check. Remember you can be a friend to your teenager but your primary role is a parent, and as a patent you must guide and protect your child. They may not always like it and you will sometimes fall out over but you must endeavour to do what you think best.
Even if you have done your best, things can still go wrong. You will make mistakes but at least you tried and done the duty of a caring parent which sometimes is all you can do. Set the rules and make the effort to enforce them. To allow your teenager free range and to go unchecked is just being plain negligent.
EDUARDO
About Teenagers and Peer Pressure
Your children are influenced by the entire world around them and just like peer pressure that influence can be good or bad.
Understandably, most parents will go to any lengths to make sure that their children do not get into any trouble. They have never-ending arguments with their children about what’s right and what’s wrong; what they should do and what they shouldn’t
Knowing that they cannot follow their kids everywhere and knowing about teenager’s vulnerability to unwholesome peer pressure, parent will worry about teenagers making the right choices and selecting the ‘right people’ to imitate.
This article is about teenagers that succumb to what parents might see as a negative influence and some practical tips for parents to stop the teenager coming to harm.
Dealing with teenagers
Kids are going to be influenced by many people for many different reasons some positive and some negative. If you think your teenager is under a negative influence and you wish to get them back on track, here are a few things you can do.
Teaching your teenager about skills that will help them get out of bad situations is time well spent. Role play and acting out various options available may be useful pre-teen or early teen. But I am sure you will not get a 16 year old to role play with you!
Discuss with them that what they choose to do is entirely their responsibility. If they have chosen not to join in a particular activity they must never let themselves be swayed by the rest of the group. Teach them the well known saying ‘Just walk away’.
An important factor about teenagers and discipline is when you have cause to berate them make sure you tell them clearly why you where upset with their behaviour and what they could try to do to improve it.
Avoid personal statements such as I hate you, you look scruffy. They must know it is their behaviour you dislike not them.
If they find themselves in a situation that they cannot get out of, insist that they find a way to call you so you can bail them out of a tuff tough spot. Just the thought of having a friend call a parent can cause the other person to stop right there in their tracks.
Being able to tell their peers they will get grounded, loose pocket money or allowance can give your child a credible ‘out’ to excuse themselves from something they know you would not approve of.
The Duty of a Caring Parent
Your child needs to be aware that you have no authority or control over what their friends do or don’t do, but you certainly are in charge of your child and intend exercising your authority to keep things in check. Remember you can be a friend to your teenager but your primary role is a parent, and as a patent you must guide and protect your child. They may not always like it and you will sometimes fall out over but you must endeavour to do what you think best.
Even if you have done your best, things can still go wrong. You will make mistakes but at least you tried and done the duty of a caring parent which sometimes is all you can do. Set the rules and make the effort to enforce them. To allow your teenager free range and to go unchecked is just being plain negligent.
EDUARDO
Dec
19
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
Donald Saunders asked:
If your teenager is anything like mine then you will probably think that the world has come to an end if it ever comes time for her to wear braces on her teeth. But, since we all want our children to have that perfect white smile as they enter adulthood if at all possible, this is one hurdle which many of us have to learn to jump.
Fortunately the world of braces has changed dramatically since I wore them myself as a child and the days of that horrible mess of metal in your mouth is thankfully long gone. Today there are all sorts of alternatives open to your teenager, many of which include clear bands and brackets which are hardly visible. Indeed, you can even get ‘invisible’ braces nowadays which are plastic inserts that fit over the child’s teeth. Gone too in many cases is the need for painful adjustments to the braces on a regular basis, with the dentist simply replacing the braces every six or eight weeks.
The starting point however is to get your teenager to focus attention on the long term benefits of wearing braces which is a challenge in itself since most teenagers are concerned about today and not next month or next year. They will see braces as ruining their life, rather than correcting a problem which they might find will ruin their life when they get a little bit older and start dating or set their heart on a job which requires them to have a nice smile. You job therefore is to make them focus on the longer term and get them to visualize themselves in a few years time with a smile like that of their current television or magazine idol. This means that magazines and television are a good place to start when it comes to convincing your teenager of the benefit of wearing braces.
Another fear which you may need to overcome is that of braces being painful to wear or causing pain when they are adjusted or changed. Here you can do two things. First, enlist the help of your dentist or of your teenager’s friends who are already wearing braces and, second, schedule appointments at the end of the school day so that, if there is any discomfort, you teenager will be able to relax at home rather than having to sit in class in discomfort.
If you child is musical and plays a woodwind instrument or is actively involved in sport they may also be concerned about the affect of wearing braces. Indeed, some braces could actually interfere with their performance. In this case simply talk to your orthodontist as this is a problem which they will be very familiar with and for which they have many different solutions available.
Finally, do not forget that teenagers are an ingenious group and they too have ways of coping with many of the trials and tribulations of teenage life. In Thailand for example multi-colored braces are now very much a fashion item and many children who do not need braces are begging their parents to let them wear them because all their friends are doing so.
Getting your teenager to wear braces may take a little bit of work but it is certainly not as difficult today as it once was.
GREGG
If your teenager is anything like mine then you will probably think that the world has come to an end if it ever comes time for her to wear braces on her teeth. But, since we all want our children to have that perfect white smile as they enter adulthood if at all possible, this is one hurdle which many of us have to learn to jump.
Fortunately the world of braces has changed dramatically since I wore them myself as a child and the days of that horrible mess of metal in your mouth is thankfully long gone. Today there are all sorts of alternatives open to your teenager, many of which include clear bands and brackets which are hardly visible. Indeed, you can even get ‘invisible’ braces nowadays which are plastic inserts that fit over the child’s teeth. Gone too in many cases is the need for painful adjustments to the braces on a regular basis, with the dentist simply replacing the braces every six or eight weeks.
The starting point however is to get your teenager to focus attention on the long term benefits of wearing braces which is a challenge in itself since most teenagers are concerned about today and not next month or next year. They will see braces as ruining their life, rather than correcting a problem which they might find will ruin their life when they get a little bit older and start dating or set their heart on a job which requires them to have a nice smile. You job therefore is to make them focus on the longer term and get them to visualize themselves in a few years time with a smile like that of their current television or magazine idol. This means that magazines and television are a good place to start when it comes to convincing your teenager of the benefit of wearing braces.
Another fear which you may need to overcome is that of braces being painful to wear or causing pain when they are adjusted or changed. Here you can do two things. First, enlist the help of your dentist or of your teenager’s friends who are already wearing braces and, second, schedule appointments at the end of the school day so that, if there is any discomfort, you teenager will be able to relax at home rather than having to sit in class in discomfort.
If you child is musical and plays a woodwind instrument or is actively involved in sport they may also be concerned about the affect of wearing braces. Indeed, some braces could actually interfere with their performance. In this case simply talk to your orthodontist as this is a problem which they will be very familiar with and for which they have many different solutions available.
Finally, do not forget that teenagers are an ingenious group and they too have ways of coping with many of the trials and tribulations of teenage life. In Thailand for example multi-colored braces are now very much a fashion item and many children who do not need braces are begging their parents to let them wear them because all their friends are doing so.
Getting your teenager to wear braces may take a little bit of work but it is certainly not as difficult today as it once was.
GREGG
Nov
13
Filed Under (Parenting) by teenager
Terre Grable asked:
Right now is your relationship “strained” with your teenager? Does everything within you want a positive relationship with your teenager, but you do not know how to accomplish it?
Well, here is the stepping stone to a great relationship path with your son or daughter this holiday season. Ready? It’s the “F” word…..forgiveness. That’s right! Forgiveness. Something that is does not cost a cent and can make all the difference in your parenting relationship.
The holiday season is filled with advertisements for the perfect gifts that promise happiness for your teenager. Sure the gifts and the gadgets are great, and your teenagers are sure to love them. But, I am not sure it is the BEST gift your teenager wants.
What is the best holiday gift you can give your teenager this holiday season?
A relationship with you! Despite all the affluence and wealth in the world, I believe most of today’s teenagers desire a close relationship with their family. And for those that will tell you “family is not important to them,” somehow I still believe deep down they really wish they had a stronger relationship with their parents.
How do you start having a better relationship with your teenager this holiday season?
Is it love? A better understanding of what your teenager is experiencing? More patience with the decisions they are making? While all of the above are valuable to any parental relationship, the life blood in any healthy relationship is forgiveness. Forgiveness can melt away the cold distance that subtly builds between family members, especially parents and teenagers. Without forgiveness, one cannot love to their fullest potential, walk in another person’s shoes, nor be patient without having expectations of the other person.
Why do we not forgive?
If forgiveness is the life blood of any relationship, then resentment is its death. Resentment hinders any growth, with the exception of itself. It stunts a relationship by keeping it at the same place where the resentment began. It does not seem to move beyond this place. Resentment can also linger around like a low-grade fever, never really exploding into a full blown argument. All the while, gaining strength and causing further family division. But, if left alone, little by little resentment can develop into bitterness.
Resentment is also sneaky as it is often repackaged. Often, parents and teenagers may not be aware that they are holding onto resentment. Sometimes it is given a different name other than anger. As a counselor, clients will frequently say, “I am not angry, just a little upset.” Or my favorite one “I am not angry, I am just frustrated.” You can rename it whatever you need to, however it is still resentment.
What does forgiveness look like in the relationship with your teenager?
Ask one hundred different people, and you would likely get one hundred different answers. Here is my definition of forgiveness: when your relationship is free of the slightest bit of anger because you have worked through any negative emotions resulting from your teenager’s behaviors. It does not mean you have forgotten what took place or denied your teenager’s behaviors. Rather, you are not controlled emotionally by them. And the only way to reach forgiveness is to face the conflict and work through it.
Do you need to give the gift of forgiveness to your teenager this holiday season?
FOSTER
Right now is your relationship “strained” with your teenager? Does everything within you want a positive relationship with your teenager, but you do not know how to accomplish it?
Well, here is the stepping stone to a great relationship path with your son or daughter this holiday season. Ready? It’s the “F” word…..forgiveness. That’s right! Forgiveness. Something that is does not cost a cent and can make all the difference in your parenting relationship.
The holiday season is filled with advertisements for the perfect gifts that promise happiness for your teenager. Sure the gifts and the gadgets are great, and your teenagers are sure to love them. But, I am not sure it is the BEST gift your teenager wants.
What is the best holiday gift you can give your teenager this holiday season?
A relationship with you! Despite all the affluence and wealth in the world, I believe most of today’s teenagers desire a close relationship with their family. And for those that will tell you “family is not important to them,” somehow I still believe deep down they really wish they had a stronger relationship with their parents.
How do you start having a better relationship with your teenager this holiday season?
Is it love? A better understanding of what your teenager is experiencing? More patience with the decisions they are making? While all of the above are valuable to any parental relationship, the life blood in any healthy relationship is forgiveness. Forgiveness can melt away the cold distance that subtly builds between family members, especially parents and teenagers. Without forgiveness, one cannot love to their fullest potential, walk in another person’s shoes, nor be patient without having expectations of the other person.
Why do we not forgive?
If forgiveness is the life blood of any relationship, then resentment is its death. Resentment hinders any growth, with the exception of itself. It stunts a relationship by keeping it at the same place where the resentment began. It does not seem to move beyond this place. Resentment can also linger around like a low-grade fever, never really exploding into a full blown argument. All the while, gaining strength and causing further family division. But, if left alone, little by little resentment can develop into bitterness.
Resentment is also sneaky as it is often repackaged. Often, parents and teenagers may not be aware that they are holding onto resentment. Sometimes it is given a different name other than anger. As a counselor, clients will frequently say, “I am not angry, just a little upset.” Or my favorite one “I am not angry, I am just frustrated.” You can rename it whatever you need to, however it is still resentment.
What does forgiveness look like in the relationship with your teenager?
Ask one hundred different people, and you would likely get one hundred different answers. Here is my definition of forgiveness: when your relationship is free of the slightest bit of anger because you have worked through any negative emotions resulting from your teenager’s behaviors. It does not mean you have forgotten what took place or denied your teenager’s behaviors. Rather, you are not controlled emotionally by them. And the only way to reach forgiveness is to face the conflict and work through it.
Do you need to give the gift of forgiveness to your teenager this holiday season?
FOSTER
