Michael Lee asked:


Teenage depression hits 5% of children and adolescents, as reported by experts. Teenage depression is serious and needs to be addressed when symptoms start to show. Unfortunately, it sometimes goes unnoticed and untreated because of a lack of understanding about the condition.

Adults may sometimes tend to attribute it to hormones or dismiss it as a case of the usual teenage mood swings and rebellious behavior; but if ignored or left untreated, teenage depression could result in a lasting state of depression and, in many cases, suicide. Cases of teenage depression are on the rise; and now more than ever, it’s important to fully understand what it is all about.

Teenage Depression Signs

It’s very important to be able to spot behavioral warning signs. Note that some mood changes are more extreme than most, and that one shouldn’t immediately jump to conclusions when trying to deal with a teenager’s emotions. Being observant and having the ability to differentiate between mood swings and negatively, destructive behavior is a key element in dealing with teenage depression.

What are the symptoms that indicate that a teenager is experiencing depression? A few telltale signs of this condition include:

• long periods of irritability

• feelings of hopelessness

• loss of pleasure in one’s normal routine and activities

• constant feelings of worthlessness and inadequacy

• deteriorating performance in school

• social isolation

• excessive crying and feelings of sadness

• physical and/or verbal aggression

• suicidal thoughts

Depressed teenagers may also exhibit destructive behavior and use activities such as alcohol and drug abuse, as well as self-injury, as an outlet for their feelings.

Teenage Depression Causes

As mentioned earlier, peer pressure and parental expectations play a large part in a teenager’s feelings of self-worth and behavior. Once he feels that he is unable to keep up with all the expectations and live up to other people’s standards, this will cause him to doubt himself.

Young people also place a high premium on being accepted. When a teenager fails to fit in, this contributes to stronger feeling of inadequacy. After all, for many young people, being alone, different, and unpopular is a terrible thing.

Family problems can also give rise to teenage depression. Young people may harbor feelings of guilt and start questioning themselves, wondering if they somehow contributed to the problems, especially if they’re also the constant targets for criticism. They will start thinking that their presence at home is unnecessary and that everyone’s life will be better if they disappeared.

Performance in school is another trigger for teenage depression. With academics becoming more difficult at this age, teenagers may not be able to keep up with schoolwork as well as they used to, and would therefore experience failures from time to time.

Frustration with schoolwork, fear of disappointing parents, and dismay at one’s self can all lead to feelings of worthlessness. In Japan, for example, there was a time when suicide among students was on the rise, especially among those who performed poorly in school.

Teenage Depression Treatments

Clearly, teenage depression is not a joke and certainly not just the dramatic whimpering of young people. It’s a major problem that deserves the fullest attention of one’s friends and family.

That’s why it’s very important to be very supportive and attentive. Rather than being impatient with the young person’s behavior, parents in particular should pay careful attention and take the time to really understand what their children are going through. It would be a great help if they are able to convey to their child that he is loved and that he is a promising individual with lots of potential. Young people need encouragement and support to get through this difficult time in their lives.

Family and friends of a depressed teenager can also get help from counseling services and organizations that specifically deal with teenage depression. Some may also choose to enlist the help of professionals.

Coping with the issue of teenage depression is a daunting task for many, but the results are worthwhile once the teenager is able to overcome it. It will take a lot of time and effort for everyone involved and the important thing to do is to work hard and do everything possible to ensure that your child will find satisfaction and fulfillment in his teenage years.



ERIK

Terre Grable asked:


As a counselor, I have seen many parents run themselves ragged trying to be “The Perfect Parent” to their teenager. When their efforts fall short and the relationship with their teenager is lacking, many parents can feel frustrated and disappointed. Here are some myth busters of how to be the Perfect Parent.

In order to have a good relationship with my teenager, I need to:

1. Spend every waking moment with my teenager

Somehow there is a lofty thought that a good relationship with teenagers begins with spending all day, every day with them. As if “Perfect Parents” are the ones that spend all of their free time with their teenagers, filling their days shopping at the mall, or working gleefully together in the back yard.

Yes, and no! Spending time with their parents is something that most teenagers really want, and enjoy doing. However, teenagers also crave their independence. It is better to find a time and consistently meet with them, than to try to overcrowd your teenager. As in the end, this can drive a teenager crazy.

2. Have a serious discourse of the philosophy of life every morning.

Mornings can be a difficult time of the day for parents and teenagers. Hurried parents are often trying to get their just woken up teenagers out the door, usually with some sort of half - eaten pastry hanging out of their mouths.

Save the in depth philosophical discussions for a time when there are no distractions. Make the mornings as smooth as possible. For many people, how they start their morning will determine their mood for the remainder of the day.

3. Use every last penny of my paycheck for my teenager’s every whim

Parents want the best for their teenagers, and enjoy being able give their teenagers those gifts and gadgets they did not have during their adolescence. However, sometimes parents can get carried away and over extend themselves financially, while trying to give their teenager the best life possible.

The irony is that most teenagers do not necessarily want a lot of money showered on them. Now don’t get me wrong, most will accept monetary gifts and extravagance. But if a parent is trying to show love by spending money on them, this very well may backfire. Teenagers are quite keen at being able to distinguish between authentic affection and purchased admiration.

4. Know the answers to all of their questions

As a parent, we want to be the “go to person” for our teenager. However, some parents assume filling this position means they have to be the knowledgeable sage for all of life’s problems. As if their inability to give an answer is equivalent to being a failure as a parent.

Horse Hockey! What is a parent to do? Find someone that may know the answer. Being able to point your teenager into the right direction will encourage self determination, and it will show that you are listening and taking their questions seriously.

5. Be the “cool” parent

Many parents attempt to be the “cool” parent that blends into the teenage crowd. They dress the part, listen to the same music as their teenager, and even try to pick up the current slang of the day. While the intention of wanting to connect to the teenage world is noble, often this can result in embarrassment for both you and your teenager.

Instead, just be yourself. This is not to say that as a parent your dress attire cannot be current and contemporary. Nor that you cannot share any similar taste in music or popular culture with your teenager. However, the rule of thumb is authenticity rather than resorting to becoming an adolescent yourself by trying to “fit in.” You would probably find that your teenager’s respect for you is not based in what you wear, but in who you are.



GIUSEPPE

Terre Grable asked:


If there is one area of the family cycle that provides an optimal opportunity for forgiveness, it would be the teenage years. Often filled with times of conflict and frustration, the teenage years can be a great time to exercise forgiveness. As a parent, you can provide the best education of forgiveness both as a teacher and example.

Many teenagers have a false misunderstanding of what it means to forgive. And who can blame them? After all, if you were to ask a thousand different people about forgiveness, then you would get a thousand different answers and each of them would likely possess some element of truth. Here are some realities about forgiveness:

Reality 1 - Forgiveness does not require forgetting the offense

Unless you have a lobotomy, I am not sure humans are capable of forgetting offenses. Nor am I convinced a person should forget what happened. When a person harms us, and then seeks reconciliation there is an element of trust that is being requested. Remind your teenager that trust is to be earned, not necessarily given just because a person has apologized.

Reality 2 - Forgiving does not mean you overlook your own feelings

Many teenagers want to be the more mature person when in conflict with others. So they tend to suppress their own feelings meanwhile thinking they are forgiving another person. However, the next time this person offends them their feelings are even stronger because they were not dealt with in the past. Teach your teenager that forgiveness is a result of working through emotions, not suppressing them.

Reality 3 - Forgiveness is a one person show

Many have come to believe that in order to forgive, the other person must apologize first. As if somehow forgiveness is validated by an apology. To the contrary, teenagers can become empowered onto the path of forgiveness because it is totally within their control. While another’s apology is nice, it is a luxury not a requirement.

Reality 4 - Forgiveness does not mean you a weak person

Many teenagers operate on the Darwin theory of “survival of the fittest.” Walk through the halls of any high school, and you are sure to witness the tough circles they encounter. Show your teenager that forgiveness leads to stronger relationships, not weaker ones because they are filled with honesty and humility versus pride and dishonesty.

Reality 5 - Forgiveness is not denial

For some forgiveness has come to mean that they somehow you agree with the offense, as if to say there never really was a conflict. Or that nothing actually took place to hurt you. Nonsense! Remind your teenager that when you two have a disagreement, your forgiveness does not erase the argument. Rather, forgiveness helps you to embrace it so that your relationship can move forward.

Forgiveness is a healthy part of any relationship. Unfortunately, many teenagers can have misconceptions of what forgiveness is, and thereby can set them up for failure. Having a realistic understanding of forgiveness can help your teenager have deeper friendships and a stronger relationship with you



GERARD