See site below with advice for teenage girls and see what terrible things that you have to deal with.

It’s amazing that you recognize you have this problem.

Darlin’, the only cure to teenageritis is getting older. I remember being a teenager, & just how hellacious it was. Your opinions & beliefs are your own, being a teenager doesn’t make them any less valid than anyone else’s. You are in a learning process. Every day teaches you something, even if you don’t realize it at the time. If your hormones are even somewhat similar to mine, you learn something there, too. You aren’t stupid, Sweetie, you are learning! I kind of envy you. Some first time experiences are just fantastic! Good Luck & Blessings

Give yourself something to do before you answer back like count to 10 under your breath or take 3 deep breaths in and out – just a break for contemplation before responding – like a circuit breaker. After awhile you will realise you don’t need to fight back. Well done for noticing.

Some of your problem may be teenageritis, but some may not. It could be hormones (male or female), do you feel depressed?
Sometimes it helps to have someone (an adult) not in the situation to talk with-like a counselor. Schools have them and there are also regular counselors with offices in the public.

Sometimes loving people around you is a choice,not a feeling… It will always be hard in teenage years, but in that there is still your choice are you going to follow your feelings or choose to love those around you (not sexually I mean lol) Following feelings will cause things like 7 divorces, our kids feel broken etc… but choice of love is like an airplane running out of fuel, and it is put on the reserve tank… it saves relationships… Take care